Marriage can be a wonderful partnership. Unfortunately, it can also become a dreadful nightmare. While the actual rate has dropped in recent years, divorce is still common. If one or both individuals strayed from their marriage, divorce is likely, as well. Of course, if both partners are willing, saving the marriage is possible. With honesty and proper commitment, you and your partner can build the trust necessary to restore your marriage back to a healthy, happy state. Here are a few tips to help save your marriage after your spouse has an affair.
Ask Your Partner to End the Affair Completely
First and foremost, your spouse must end the affair immediately once you commit to working on your marriage. This will involve your spouse cutting all ties with the person they were cheating on your with.
If your spouse was having an affair with someone at work or in your neighborhood, serious decisions will need to be made. Your spouse may need to leave their job or you and your family may need to move to a different neighborhood.
While difficult, making these changes will be essential if you want to fully commit to saving your marriage.
Forgive, but Don't Forget
You may have heard the phrase, "forgive, but don't forget." This is a great phrase to apply to a marriage that has been affected by an affair. You do not have to forget what your spouse has done to you and your marriage, but you must forgive your spouse for making the mistake so you can begin feeling and healing from the emotional distress.
Living with a partner who has spent physical and emotional time with another person can be frustrating. You will have a great deal of anger, jealous, and sadness after learning a partner has had an affair. It is important to know that these feels are normal and you should not feel guilty about having these emotions. Feeling these emotions is important for healing and you should never forget how the affair has made you feel.
Enroll In Counseling
Last, but definitely not least, you and your partner should enroll in a counseling program designed for married couples. Again, this will require a commitment of time and energy, but it will be an important part of improving communication and building trust after an affair.
Make sure to tell your counselor the reason you and your spouse need therapy- the therapy. During numerous, distressing sessions, you and your spouse will learn why the affair happened and what coping mechanisms can be used to prevent further issues in the marriage.
In some cases of infidelity saving the marriage is not possible. If you and your spouse are willing to try and work together to restore your relationship, you can save the marriage. Contact a counseling center, like The Center for Family Counseling, Inc., for more help.Share