A challenge that some married couples face occurs when one person's personality type is strong, and the other is mild. Generally, the stronger partner will take the role of the leader in the relationship, which may prove to be problematic. For example, this person may resent always having to be in charge, while the meeker partner may feel bossed around or even parented. If this situation describes your marriage, you may wish to seek help from a counselor, like Barbara Saban, LCSW. Additionally, there are some methods that you can employ to achieve more balance between you.
Change The Decision Maker
It might seem difficult or perhaps even awkward at first, but switching roles can be beneficial for the health of your relationship. Each time that you need to make a decision, allow the meeker partner to be in charge while the stronger partner takes a backseat. The stronger partner may have trouble biting his or her tongue, just as the other partner may find that it's difficult to make the decision. However, this practice can prove to be hugely beneficial. The stronger partner may eventually enjoy not having to make all of the decisions, while the meeker partner may appreciate the opportunity to explore a stronger role.
One issue that partners with the above dynamic can encounter is that because the stronger half is constantly making the decisions, the couple is only doing things that he or she wants. Whether it's a strong husband choosing superhero movies for each of the couple's movie nights or a strong wife encouraging her husband to adopt a vegetarian diet against his wishes, conflicts can soon arise. When balance is lacking, consider actually using a sheet of paper to track your activities. When one person chooses the movie, the other person can choose it next time, and so on. This simple exercise can not only highlight the lack of balance, but also help to achieve it.
Play With Your Roles
One fun way to promote better balance in your marriage, as well as gain more of an appreciation for what the other person does, is to take on the other person's role for a period of time. Cooking, cleaning, yard work, child care, and other household responsibilities can commonly fall on one spouse's shoulders, but changing things around can often prove to be insightful. A meeker spouse may not do as much as the other spouse, but this could be partly because the stronger spouse takes on too much. Switching the roles around can help to promote more balance.Share